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Have you ever tried blind-folded archery? You don`t know what you`re missing.
Apparently, the answer "I Know" is not a good answer when your friend tells you how good his girlfriend is in bed
Wow!!, What a day..I volunteered at a soup kitchen, mowed my lawn, went to 2 Birthday parties, ran 6 miles, then told a bunch of lies on Facebook.
Kids eat free today? Nice... In that case, I`ll have a water and my son will have the steak and shrimp combo with a kids bud light.
I don`t have ADD. It`s just that everything is more interesting than what I have to get done.
A psychologist is selling a video that teaches you how to test your dog’s IQ. Here’s how it works: If you spend $12.99 for the video, your dog is smarter than you.
Fitness nuts have to do an entire marathon to feel a runner`s high..... I just have to bend over and tie my shoes.
Thinking about waking up early for a run. Mostly thinking about how I will not be doing that.
I got 99 problems but a least my name aint North West.
I always reply to my wife’s texts with :0))) I’m not being friendly, I’m discretely letting the fat bitch know how many chins she has.
My opinion of yoga pants varies depending on if I`m at the gym or if I`m at Wal-Mart
That akward moment you try and deep throat a banana and get caught ... and your a dude.
You think you love your family but suddenly there`s three of you and one remaining slice of pizza.
People that do stuff- what’s your secret?
You would think a popular place like the Krusty Krab would have more than two employees.