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"I love Justin bieber" well I love McDonalds but you don`t see me making an account pretending to be a f*cking chicken nugget do you...
Just been informed that my spirit animal is Eeyore.
Just ONCE, I`d like to look deep into your beautiful eyes, and make hot sweet love with you without some pop-up window ruining the mood.
Back in my day, we didn’t have Instagram. We had to bore people in person with photo albums.
thinking men should come with a carfax....
The only difference between a weekday and a weekend is which boss is telling me to do things.
Always believe a woman when she says: “You don`t want to know!”
Guys I can`t be leave I`m sharing this with you, but I saw my self on TV. After I turned it off.
You never know how little self control you have until they put chips and salsa in front of you at a Mexican restaurant.
The only stock options I have are chicken and beef.
The correct term for gluten-free, sugarless, vegan brownies is "compost."
Some people are just beautifully wrapped boxes of crap.
Tonight I`m playing hard to get off the sofa.
USB sounds like a backup in case the USA fails.
I really have to stop using this little microphone on my phone that types whatever you say as it keeps making mistakes punctuation point