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It`s been a boring day today. Not exactly Nascar boring, but awfully close.
Dear Santa: My sister is the "naughty" one ... trust me.
Toilets are really just fart amplifiers when you are trying to be quiet.
Hey, if it doesn`t work out, we can still be friends. Said no guy ever
Don’t you hate when the whole bus is empty, but some guy sits right next to you? I know you do. That’s why I do it.
I’d be unstoppable if it wasn’t for law enforcement and physics.
After I clear my browser history I do a quick google search for things like "feeding the hungry" and "How to thank a loving wife"
Is it so much to ask that everyone who ever wronged me be forced to leave the country and change their identity?
Holiday Tip #236: When hosting a covered dish holiday dinner where everyone brings something, never put a skinny person in charge of desserts.
Bowling is my favorite sport because you don`t have to run and there`s beer five feet away.
Studies show that people who want tribal tattoos are directly related to living under a rock
Why do grown ups pay to go to gyms to exercise on expensive equipment? Can`t we meet at a park after work and play tag until dark?
I`d be the stripper that got fired for eating her way out of the cake instead of jumping out of it.
I went to see the doctor today for my annual check-up. The good news is the he says I`m healthy as a horse. The bad news is he uses large farm animals to
I`ve finally decided to do something about my weight. Lie.