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When I die, I don`t want to go sober...
People of planet Earth, thank your gods that I`m not in charge of the red button.
If suppositories were just a bit smaller, they would be a whole lot easier to swallow...........................
All I`m saying is, China could have a much better relationship with the West if they shared their dragons with us. But, whatever, be that way.
Maybe cologne should come with a two sprays a day lock on it.
Who let the owls out?? Don`t sing the chorus you`ll make it worse.
Hey all you parents who recently named your kid Jax, We get it you`re unoriginal and watch SOA ... Hold on my daughter Grey`s Anatomy is crying.
Getting up in the morning is like writing an essay. You want to do it, it takes a lot of effort, and you usually quit halfway through.
I wonder how many messengers were killed before they came up with the saying.
I don`t know about you....but I have thought about running away from home way more as an adult than I ever did as a kid.
Not only am I a master of suspense, but I...
You posted a drunk selfie last night at 2:04 AM and then deleted it five minutes later. But I took a screenshot. Let`s negotiate.
We`ve spent years planning and preparing for the zombie apocalypse all for nothing......clowns....its gonna be clowns that finish us off.
The race to get Dad a Christmas present usually ends in a tie.
I don`t know what your problem is, but I`ll bet it`s hard to pronounce.