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What does Miley Cyrus have for dinner on Christmas? Twerky :`)
Karma has no menu. You get served what you deserve.
I`m pretty sure whoever coined the phrase " rise and shine", doesn`t do it anymore.
I swear, watching people at a 4-way stop sign is like watching `Night at the Roxbury.` "Him? Me? Oh Me? Me or Him?"
The only Plato I care about is a big Plato spaghetti
Today is "National Take Your Flask To Work Day." ... I just made it up. Tell the others.
I have been delaying my computer updates an hour for the past 3 years.
Today in my local cemetery I came across the grave of Arthur Wynne the inventor of the crossword puzzle. For those that want to know where he is buried it`s 6 down and 4 across.
It`s time to wave goodbye to winter. Guess what finger I`ll be using?
My life may be a mess but at least I didn`t make a harlem shake video.
I know some of you would find it hard to believe, but I don`t say everything that pops into my head. I don`t think the average person could handle it.
When I see a shoe on the side of the road I wonder if Cinderella is in a nearby house.
If McDonald´s sold hot dogs, could u, with a straight face, order a McWeiner & tell them 2 super size it?
If Jesus was the son of Mary and he was the Lamb of God, Does that mean Mary had a Little Lamb?
Just been watching Ladies Beach volleyball and there`s already been a wrist injury...but I should be ok in a couple days.