Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`m trying to be healthy and grow my own food but I can`t find any Twinkie seeds. :/
I saved my husband`s life insurance company 1 million dollars by switching to xanax.
I don’t want to sound racist, but all stormtroopers look the same to me.
I’ve been in this McDonald’s restroom for over an hour, waiting for an employee to wash my hands.
Does anyone have the recipe for ice cubes? Asking for a friend.
We`re all just nudists in disguise.
You know what tastes better than one taco? Two tacos!
Trust me ...... I can`t believe I`m still here either.
I may or may not have just "Whipped my Hair Back and Forth".......
Legalizing same sex marriage. I thought all sex was the same after marriage.
My wife told me to get a real job or pack my bags! She must be losing it! Who threatens someone with a vacation?
Sometimes I think I’m too picky. Then I watch my dog look for a place to poop.
My biggest fear is that there is no PMS and this is my personality.
If I say "I don`t know, let me look", I`m really just spinning around in my chair a few times while you`re on hold.
I have a condition that renders me unable to go on a diet… I get hungry.