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If you don`t have anything nice to say I would probably enjoy spending time with you
Live today like it`s your last!! But pay your bills and use a condom just in case it isn`t.
Follow your dreams. Unless itβs a person. ..apparently they call THAT stalking.
If you guys could read my mind! It would be all like; " "
If anybody tells you youβre putting too much Parmesan on your pasta, stop talking to them. You donβt need that negativity in your life.
βTaking candy from a babyβ would actually be a responsible thing to do.
Forget resolutions, Imma just say from now on... TGIS "Thank God I Survived" ! :)
F*ck spiders. F*ck them and the way they move their legs, f*ck their ability to multiply by the million and f*ck their eight, beady little black eyes that offer unblinking, soulless glimpses of the blackest depths of hell itself.
Iβm not high maintenance, but rather precious cargo with lavish instruction for upkeep.
I once shot a man with a paintball gun just to watch him dye.
My neighbors listen to some amazing music⦠whether they like it or not. ;)
What are the strongest days of the week? Saturday and Sunday. The rest are weekdays.
Whoβs that sexy beastβ¦β¦β¦β¦..oh I clicked on my own profile again. ;)
You`re right, you didn`t ask that guy for a d!ck pic, but nobody asked for hundreds of pictures of your face either.
I donΒ΄t suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.