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If my calculations are correct then someone else did them for me.
I bet Miley Cyrus is eating Twerky right now.
Forget beauty sleep. I want skinny sleep.
someone told me I am immature and need to grow up ... so guess who is not allowed in my snow fort!!!
Please do not read this.
I always advise people never to give advice.
I can’t believe it’s 2012 and there is still no fold button on my dryer.
I think "Don`t Kid Yourself" would be a great brand name for birth control pills....
Can we just call it Zealand now? How long has it been? Move on people.
This Tequila tastes like an afternoon of fun and bad decisions.
Did the Energizer Bunny finally stop going and going, and none of us even noticed it?
Its too damn early. Even the voices in my head are still snoring.
I finally had the talk with my kids. I told them that in the wild animals eat their young so they better get their sh!t together.
You chicks spend a lot of money on makeup to look pretty. Save your cash, buy him Alcohol.
If your having a bad day, remember that somewhere on this big planet, someone just lost their straw in a capri sun!!