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I screamed a Brazilian times during that waxing.
There`s no law against twerking...but apparently it`s still frowned upon during jury duty.
I just read that Lindsay Lohan is headed for rehab. It`s like 2008 all over again. Or 2009. Or 2010. Or 2011. Or 2012
I don`t know if getting everything I want would make me happy, but the opposite is not working at all.
I use meditation and yoga to handle stress...Just kidding, I pop pills for that sh!t.
Whenever you`re feeling really bad about yourself just remember, there`s people that pay money to exercise.
Anyone else sit on the toilet and play with their phone until you realized you have been finished 10 minutes ago?
Jesus said to love your neighbour like you love yourself. Thats a nice saying but if Martin from next door thinks he`s getting a handjob he can f*ck off!
Shark week is over, but I`m not taking my decorations down.
Nintendo should handle education, I don’t remember half the crap from high school but I know all of Super Mario World’s secrets.
They should make Vodka ChapStick
I wish I could pick which brain cells the alcohol kills....There`s ALOT of crap I wish I could forget about.....
You have no idea how funny I am to me.
I love how television has redefined the word `marathon` to the exact opposite of physical exercise
The sad part about seeing any shopper at Walmart with a blue tooth, is that normally it is that shopper`s only tooth.