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I was about to read the story below. But it was too long.
Chocolate is a flavor of milk, and milk is a flavor of chocolate.
I hate it when the credit card bills come in and I have to have sex with my husband.
Person: You`re blocking the view. Me: B!tch, I am the view!
I can’t wait until I get that job at Starbucks because I’m going to spell everyone’s name wrong so they can’t instagram their cups.
I just apologized to my wife for something she did wrong. Marriage is fun.
I have two moods: sleep is for the weak and sleeping for a week.
There is no such thing as failure. There are only results.
I guess “Trying to be” isn’t really the answer the doctor was looking for when he asked if I was sexually active.
Ever noticed how fast people walk across the road when you don`t apply the brakes
I will be good today... I will be good today... I will be good today... Yeah.... I didn`t believe it either..
I’m an organ donor, but I’m pretty sure all they’re going to use is my liver for “after” photos.
A synonym is a word you use when you can´t spell the word you first thought of.
Water is the most essential element of life, because without water, you can`t make coffee.
What does "it" mean in the sentence "What time is it?"?