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Women are always complaining that men are messy by leaving clothes layin around…..That’s because women take up all the closets
Thanks to everyone for the Birthday wishes! To anyone who missed it.”No cake for you!!"
If you never set it, you always have the excuse, "I overslept because the alarm didn`t go off."
7,000 people were treated in emergency rooms for injuries sustained from fireworks. Don’t be a statistic, let your friend light the fuse
Never call me creepy. You`re the only one that doesn`t even know we`re engaged.
Everyone is gifted......But not everyone opens their present
All I`m saying is that if you were a real psychic palm reader you would of made me wash my hands first.
Sometimes I like to take a roll of duct tape and use it to cover up all the Mondays on my desk calendar.
My girlfriend JUST spent the ENTIRE day arguing that she isn`t stubborn.. :|
Three words to ruin a woman`s ego. "I can`t tell."
Im afraid to go outside or even sit next to a window during an lightening storm. Im afraid that I`ll get zapped! I`m scared that God is gonna get me!!!
This relationship is going to be weird if you keep pretending I`m not your boyfriend.
There is no better sunscreen than sitting in a bar.
Reincarnation is my only hope.
I just googled, "understanding women," the computer crashed.