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I have a feeling I already know which direction my "Get rich or die trying" lifestyle is headed.
Sorry that offended you, I really didn’t think you’d get it.
Heard you like bad boys .... Well, I`m not trying to impress you or anything, but when Disney Channel asked me to go to their website with my parents permission, I didn`t ask my parents.
I`m selling my browser history on eBay before the government does.
I ate a shepherd`s pie for lunch. He was pretty upset about it.
If you ever want to know what you look like to the world, don’t look in a mirror, have a child draw you.
I got a free wallet and watch today. It`s like this gun is magic.
Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words “The” and “IRS” together it spells “Theirs.”
Condoms prevent minivans.
You ever read a status, and you`re like, `what a f*ck up` and then you realize you`re on your own page?
I hope everyone takes my advice and never takes my advice.
I wish that just once, the clerk would just put the Monopoly money in the drawer and hand me a receipt
I took a 5hr energy today. they`re right about being able to multitask because it made me puke and poop at the sametime..
To any ex-military that live on my street I apologize for whatever messages we may be sending, 2yo has discovered light switches
Hey ladies breastfeeding in public, why don`t you ever smile in my pictures?