Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Sometimes, numbers are the only thing you can truely count on.
My wife said she expects the house to be clean by the time she walks in the door so I changed all of the locks.
Did you ever notice that the doctor’s bill is always a lot more readable than the doctor’s prescription?
Welcome to journalism, where everything is made up, and the sources don`t matter.
Gentlemen may not be extinct, but they are definitely endangered
I just watched a documentary on marijuana. I think all documentaries should be watched this way.
There are no problems which cannot be solved through suitable application of high explosives.
Still waiting for the moment when there will be a "add to wishlist" button on people`s facebook profile !!
Don`t hide your feelings. Hide the evidence.
My walk of shame is putting back the 9 boxes of assorted cereals that my wife found in the grocery cart.
Weird how old people suddenly stop being so deaf the second you put music they don’t like on
Born free. Now, I’m expensive.
What if firemen acted like policemen and just drove around shooting water at anyone who looked like they might catch on fire.
How can you tell if someone went to the gym? Don’t worry, they’ll tell you.
A lifetime of fire drills has prepared me to completely ignore the alarm during a real fire.