Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
That awkward moment when you give the same Hallmark card two years in a row.
Seems like my body should have better things to do than make nipple hair.
I`ve heard of women that aren`t crazy ... but I`ve also heard of unicorns, so whatever...
My neck, my back, my Netflix and my snacks.
Never realized how out of shape I was until I started sweating after using scissors for 30 seconds.
The whole purpose of vacationing is to make you appreciate knowing where the channels are at home.
I wonder if the Ziploc bag company secretly lobbies to keep marijuana illegal.
If "The Breakfast Club" were made today, it would be a silent film about 5 kids staring at their phones.
My dream job is a pharmacy cashier & yelling for a price check every time someone checks out anal ointment, condoms, & men buying maxi pads.
Keep reaching for the stars but please get a better deodorant.
My 6 year old found the duct tape and now nothing in my house moves.
When your world is falling apart, when it seems like things can`t get any worse, please remember...I don`t give a s$it.
The only reason I offer to be the designated driver is so people will get used to seeing me load lifeless bodies into my car.
I went to the store to buy some comdoms and the cashier asked me If I needed a bag ? "I replied No she`s not that ugly"
There`s a thin line between "I should write a status about that" and "I should talk to my therapist about that"....