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Remember the good old days when making the “duck face” involved 2 Pringles?
2 words, 1 finger.
You don`t have to like me, I`m not a Facebook status.
The hardest part of being a gentleman is going to all of these gentlemen’s clubs.
They should put Prince on the $20 bill and call it $19.99... It`s "The bill formerly known as a twenty."
Girls here`s how to tell if a guy wants you for sex - 1: He does
loves driving down the road and just waving at random people like you know them!:D
when a police officer yells turn around . Do not respond by singing . Every now and then i get a little bit lonely when you never come around
Every snack you make, every meal you bake, every bite you take, I`ll be watching you. - Dog
Everyone, please... a moment of silence for all my married friends who have a shared Facebook account.
Friends are like slinkys, they are twisted as heck but you can`t help but laugh when they fall down the stairs.
My mind is like "LETS DO THIS SH!T" but my body is like "calm down motherf*cker"
My hobbies include but are not limited to getting drunk and commenting "LOL" on relationship statuses on Facebook.
Two of the greatest mysteries of the universe: 1) Why are we here? 2) How come Chinese restaurants don`t serve breakfast?
When the zombie apocalypse happens, I’m going to blast Michael Jackson’s “Thriller”, while the zombies chase us, just to lighten the mood.