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Of course I talk to myself. I need to have an intelligent conversation every now and then.
Sleeping alone is a complete waste of my sexual talent.....
When I want your opinion, I’ll give it a funny voice.
Little to no thought was put into this status.
I`ve learned to take life as it comes...straight with no chaser.....
At a wedding reception someone yelled: “All the married men please stand next to the person that made your life worth living” The bartender was nearly crushed to death.
Why can’t I lose weight easily I mean I lose everything else without a problem.
No, I would not like to join your exclusive membership rewards club. I’m buying a sandwich.
That`s a lot of selfies for someone that claims to be emotionally stable
I suspects that whoever named that Icelandic volcano (Eyjafjallajokull) must have fallen asleep on their keyboard while thinking it up.
Creating a password in this day and age After the 9th try OKNowI`mReallyMad50BoiledCabbagesUpYourArseIfYouDon`tGiveMeAccessImmediately! `Sorry, that password is already in use`
pens and pencils are drumsticks and desks and textbooks are drum kits. its a fact.
Reaching under the couch for something is the closest I’ll ever get to yoga.
Women my age expect a man to have his sh!t together by now. Time to start dating younger women.
I feel sorry for men who don’t know how to value women. One look at a woman and I know how much she will cost me.