Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Ever check your Facebook early in the morning where you have to close one eye because the screen is too bright?
Still haven`t taken down the Christmas tree. Screw it. We now have a Super Bowl tree.
Tonight I plan on drinking until I`m someone else`s problem
Hurricane preparedness tip: 1. Buy several kegs of beer 2. Drink beer 3. Wait for flooding 4. Drop kegs in water 5. Float to safety....
My kids can be difficult sometimes, but my mom always assures me that I deserve it.
I`m glad it`s finally hot enough to complain about how hot it is.
Research shows that, when someone shouts "Oh no he didn`t!" ... He in fact did.
I know the voices aren`t real but they have some great ideas.
If life gives you lemons make grape juice than lay back and watch people wondering how you did it;)
It’s never too late for a coffee. After all it’s always morning somewhere in the world.
"There is a policeman in here and he will ARREST YOU." Things I say to my kids when we`re in public.
First, Ray Rice. Now, Adrian Peterson. The prison football league is going to be off the chain this year.
According to the police, public masturbation is not considered a "street performance". Even if you have a hat on the ground on front of you.
Work is the curse of the drinking class.
My horoscope says I will meet the woman of my dreams today. Not sure how my wife will take the news but I`m pretty damn excited.