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There are no winners the day following a green beer, corned beef, and cabbage binge.
Worry: a waste of imagination.
You must have been born on a highway. Most accidents take place there.
I`m introducing a new calendar system: B.C. = Before Children. A.D. = After Divorce.
My wife is amazing in bed. She can fall asleep immediately no matter how loud the TV is on.
I love everyone these days... Some I love to be around, some I love to avoid, and others, I`d love to punch in the face...
If you really think about it, "Nightlife" is just a fancy word for drinking alcohol at a place that isn`t your house.
A psychologist is selling a video that teaches you how to test your dog’s IQ. Here’s how it works: If you spend $12.99 for the video, your dog is smarter than you.
This status could be yours for 3 easy payment of $8.99, get in quick because this offer won`t last for long, infact there are only 5 left.
What do women say when they are actually fine?
I thought about exercising all day long. I am so exhausted.
All these women on the 48 dating sites I`ve joined, seem so f*cking sad and desperate.
I’ve spent way too much of my life wondering why food doesn’t rhyme with good.
Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you`ll be really far away from me with your motivational nonsense.
Just because she weighed as much as two women doesn`t mean you had a threesome