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So you`ll be able to buy Girl Scout Cookies online this year ... Your move Weight Watchers
I don`t know what`s scarier. Houses with Halloween decorations or houses that still have up Christmas decorations from last year.
From what I can gather, men hit their sexual peak around age 18. And women hit theirs as soon as the divorce is final.
Remember, pretty much all of the “tough guys” you see on TV and movies were theater majors in college.
Having kids is like being at a press conference: "No, you can`t put the dog in the washer - next question." "No, you can`t really fly -next"
Digging through a box in the closet, I found a picture of me sitting on Santa`s lap. Hard to believe that was almost a year ago.
A fun thing to do is take a group picture at a party. Then leave & print it at Walgreens. Buy a frame, go back to party, & place it on the mantel at the party.
If I pretend to be dead will you stop talking?
I was called sexist today. So..i said i think ur mistaken...its pronounced sexy! LOL
I might get a job cleaning mirrors,its a job I can see myself doing.
I inherited my dad`s sense of humor. He`s not funny either.
There is 1 mosquito in my apartment. I have 50 bullets. Let`s dance.
My coffee was so hot this morning it came along with an ugly friend.
If life is a Bitch, then why hasn´t it made me a Sandwich
I just thought you should know, I just did all the laundry and didn`t lose a sock to the dryer monster...