Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
When someone is in a bad mood, I like to help matters by pointing out several times that they seem to be in a bad mood.
Pornography only gets called by its full name when it`s in trouble too.
I don`t just sing in my shower, I perform.
I`m about as lost as lesbian on ChristianMingle.com
It`s not difficult to tell crocodiles and alligators apart. One will see you in a while whereas the other will see you later.
Chaos, panic, & disorder – my work here is done.
Yes I stalk you, but only as a friend.
I`m not crazy, but I am a carrier.
Sometimes one middle finger isn`t enough to let someone know how you feel. That`s why we have two hands.
For over 20 years, I thought Bon Jovi gave love a Band-Aid
I wish tanning beds could pop you out like a toaster when you`re finished.
are you free tomorrow ?! no I am f**king expensive !!
I have always wanted to start a brand of Christian themed lollipops and call them Catho-licks.
I got carded at the liquor store. While getting my ID out my Blockbuster card fell out. He laughed and said "Never mind."
I have blank business cards I hand out and call them my “none of your business” cards.