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The best part about being at work on Friday is that it gives me 9 hours to figure out what I`m going to drink tonight.
I`m not trying to brag or anything, but I just got invited to play Candy Crush on FB
"Open Mike Night" sounded like a lot of fun until I realised I`d been invited to an autopsy.
I remember, once upon a time... for about 2 seconds... about 13 years ago... I almost gave a damn.
Hell yes, I would love to get stoned to death. Wait, rocks?! What rocks?
Pretending I`m a pleasent person all day is exhausting.
I`m one step away from being rich, all I need now is money.
"With a stroke of a pen your name can live on forever in a quote!... Unknown,
Nothing says lazy like laying on the couch making today`s responsibilities tomorrow`s problem.
Why do people ask "What the hell were you thinking?" Obviously I was thinking I was going to get away with it and not have to explain it.
This debate episode has to be the craziest Celebrity Apprentice I`ve ever seen!
everyone has that one crazy person in there family...but in my case everyone is just as crazy as i am!XD
Guns don`t kill people. Fathers with beautiful daughters do. Happy Fathers Day!
Apparently the maximum number of times you can keep getting back in line for Communion wafers is 4.
How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but the more important question is, how did they get in there in the first place?