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I’ve made some mistakes I wish I could make again.
"Just be yourself" doesn`t work if you suck.
Keep the dream alive......... Hit the snooze button.
Karma’s only a bitch if you are.
As if " cray cray" wasn`t irritating enough, people have started shortening it to " cray"....that`s just stu stu
Most women desire someone who makes them laugh and also feel safe, so basically a clown ninja.
Stupid people who suddenly make a smart decision have no idea how confusing that is for the rest of us.
Whenever I have a panic attack, I put a brown paper bag over my mouth … and drink all the vodka inside … It seems to help
I see subway employees are still having their "how much lettuce can you fit on a sandwich" contest.
Of course everyone deserves a 2nd chance, but I gave yours to someone else.
Nothing is impossible.. Never Give Up.. I know a guy that once actually guessed correctly why his girlfriend was mad at him.. :|
What am I doing with the rest of my life? I don`t even know what I`m doing with the rest of this post...
Improve your day by ordering coffee in the voice you use for your pets.
Some families are like Snickers Bars. Mostly sweet, with a few nuts!
I have a tattoo of a gigantic bruise on my left ankle in case anyone ever asks me to go hiking. Or help them move.