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I bet sex is great when I`m not the only one in the room.
Silence is Golden, except when coming from children… Then you’d better go check to see what’s broken.
"Probiotic" sounds a lot better than "bacteria infested"
From now on when skinny girls say they`re fat I`m just gonna be like, "Yup" & walk away.
That awkward moment for a guy when he`s at a urinal stall and another guy takes the stall right next to him when there`s plenty of other perfectly good stalls farther away..
It`s a good thing Taylor Swift and Adele aren`t dating. Imagine if they broke up.
I found out why I`m still single. Apparently, you have to go outside and let people see you.
Hire a hitman is apparently not the correct answer to "what would you do if you won the lottery"
Whether you`re a woman or a straight man, taking a bra off is likely to be one of the high points of your day.
You`d think the chances of putting in a USB drive wrongside-up would be 50-50, but nope, 90-10.
I think I bought just enough fireworks to get my neighbor to move.
You know you`re all grown up when you actually pick up the ice cube instead of kick it under the fridge.
If you`re not afraid when someone is flipping through the photos on your phone then you`re probably boring.
If your online dating profile says "I don`t have sex on the first date" then that`s why you`re on a dating website.
The less you know, the more you think you do.