Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Was building a website for women drivers ... Bloody thing kept crashing.
I can’t wait until I get that job at Starbucks because I’m going to spell everyone’s name wrong so they can’t instagram their cups.
Few things are creepier than someone saying "I know" after you introduce yourself.
People saying "Laugh my a$$ off" and still having an a$$ next time I see them is the reason I have trust issues.
The old saying "I wouldn`t wish this on my worst enemy"... Clearly you have forgotten why they are your worst enemy.
On a scale of one to crazy, how many cats do you have?
Mom said angels are watching over me. I`m just afraid they`re taking notes to make sure I go to hell.
What idiot called it a contraction and not a birthquake?
I`m more of a "the glass is half shattered into a million tiny pieces" person.
Bacon has protein. Spinach has protein. Bacon is a vegetable.
I’m posing nude for an art class this evening. Nobody asked me to. I think they’re making ceramic bowls.
I feel like I`ve passed my "Best If Used By date."
I`m really sick of responsibility ... and underwear
Saw these three things on a corner, in this order: Liquor store, gun store, bank. What could possibly go wrong with that?
Bad decisions make good stories.