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I noticed you stopped taking your meds. Can I have them?
Do you suppose prison guards could use `PROACTIV` to prevent outbreaks?
I should be able to take a sick day if I am sick of the people I work with.
Why is it called "reading a book" and not paper view?
I’m pretty sure putting time limits on when breakfast is served is unconstitutional.
I once dated a girl with a parrot. The thing was crazy and never shut up! The parrot was cool though.
I was jogging earlier and...LMAO, I`m sorry...I can`t start a status with such ridiculousness.
Why go to a public pool when strangers on Craigslist will pee on you for free
RIGHT NOW YOU HAVE: 3 fingers behind your phone, your pinky tucked under for support and your scrolling with your thumb! LIKE if I’m right!
Before you have any hope for the future of humanity, come and look at how this guy parked.
I run a non-profit company. It`s not for a good cause or anything, I`m just not very good at business.
A lot of people don`t know this, but you can quietly like or dislike Obama.
It’s people that give drinking a bad name.
The only reason any of us can spell laboratory is because of Dexter.
Hi I was calling about the $300/hour part time job I read about in a sexy ad I saw on an illegal torrent site. Are you guys still hiring?