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French people give me the crepes.
You can never lose a homing pigeon. If your homing pigeon doesn`t come back, what you`ve lost is a regular pigeon.
People are always much more interesting before you get to know them.
This post is just for you.
My friend on Facebook "Can`t believe its Monday again already"... if only there were some way for her to calculate the order in which days occur.
wants my 260 FB friends to know I love you all..except #193
Playing dead on the couch all day in case a bear attacks. That`s not lazy, that`s proactive.
I’m going to the gym because I heard they have free weights. I wonder how many they’ll let me take?
Heard Justin Bieber got arrested for drag racing. Sure it`s dangerous, but surely it isn`t against the law to run in high heels...
I`m tough and can take whatever life throws at me ... Especially if its dipped in chocolate first.
When I was a kid, I told my parents I was going to make something of myself. I think they are getting impatient.
My friend told me his girlfriend talks a lot in her sleep..Apparently "I know" was not the right answer...
Life is like a teenager`s p@nis. some are short, some are long, but it is always hard.
Dear Lord, Thanks for making me funny. Especially since you didn`t give me much else to work with.
If you read my entire Facebook timeline from the beginning, you can witness my descent into madness