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So after an hour of playing Paper, Rock, Scissors, we decided to call it a tie. Good game, mirror!
I realized that at my income level "Wealth Management" really just means re-organizing the money in my wallet by denomination.
Do Starbucks employees take coffee breaks?
CNN needs to reevaluate the use of Breaking News. Perhaps "Latest Speculative News" or "We Really Don`t Know Shit" would work. CNN call me.
My therapist says I have imposter syndrome. But come on, I`m not good enough to have something fancy like that.
I wanna say something. I´m gonna put it out there. If u like it, u can take it, if you don´t, send it back. "I want to be on you"
Boys will be boys... unless they get a sex change.
How many V and M can see
NNNNNMNNNNNNNVVWWWWVWWWWW
I wonder how many 5 Hour Energy`s it would take to levitate?
I bought a Tempurpedic mattress so that I’ll have an excuse to go to sleep with a giant glass of wine every night.
Sometimes Google should just come back with a message that says “trust me, you don’t want to know.”
Is Nudeism a religion?
The best revenge is to kidnap your enemy, tie him up, then pop bubble wrap in front of him and make him watch.
That awkward moment when you can’t tell if it’s a Halloween costume or their regular clothes…
Not to brag, but I still owe Blockbuster $2.00 for not rewinding Weekend at Bernies.