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*Removes smoke detector battery *Cooks in silence
roses are red , violets are blue , I got five fingers and the 3rd one for you ;)
only 9530 days until retirement.
You know how people dread going to the dentist? I feel that way about getting out of bed.
Always remember to speak clearly when complimenting a woman`s boots...
if the shoe fits wear it , if it too tight take it off
the real full form of M.B.A....Married But Available
I think...therefore, I am.....single
The worst part about being alone is I don`t have anyone to get me a beer from the fridge.
Worrying is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but doesn’t get you anywhere.
An empty web browsing history is a sure sign of guilt.
If I was a Chinese millionaire I would change my name to Cha Ching.
It`s nice to feel wanted. Even if it`s by the FBI.
I’m over the 30-day ab challenge ... Is there a 30-day nap challenge I can take on?
I have a "honk if you think I`m sexy" bumper sticker on my truck so that way on the way to work, if I`m not feeling to excited to be there, I sit at a green light until I feel better.