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I hear my ex is now into orgies, or at least that`s what the Craigslist ad I just posted on her behalf said.
I hate when beggars rattle their cup full of coins at me. Yes i know! You have more money than me, you don`t have to rub it in..
does anyone know if smurfs are gluten free
that awkward moment when your pulling the covers up and hit yourself in the damn face !!!
Nothing gets me motivated for 10-15 seconds like a good inspirational quote.
I like to go on drunk facebook post binges, then claim the next day that someone hacked my account.
No thanks, marriage. If I wanted to stop getting laid I would just start wearing crocs.
There`s no way to look cool when the doctor walks into your exam room just as you`re blowing up a rubber glove.
Unless your kid`s fundraiser is selling booze, I want no part of it.
I was hooked on auctions after only going once... going twice
I am Looking for a Bank which can offer me these Two Services..... .Give me a Loan & then Leave me aLone. :)
Before you have any hope for the future of humanity, come and look at how this guy parked.
Apparently, driving past police cars while drinking water from an old vodka bottle isn`t `funny` and is technically `wasting` police time :(
The person before me got $0.57 worth of gas. My day doesn`t seem so bad now.
“Until death do us part,” means we will all be single in heaven, right?