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Why do baby clothes have pockets?
I`ve decided to go my own way and think "inside the box" to be different ... Wow its dark in here!
It appears that autocorrect has become my worst enema.
Dang I didn`t make it to the gym today! That makes 5 years in a row
I`m surprised more killers haven`t lured their victims into their houses by blind folding them and promises of being on a febreze commercial
Waking up an hour early gives you an extra hour to wish you were still in bed.
Every once in a while I check up on people I hate to make sure I still hate them… I do.
I wonder how long I`ll be skinny from all this dieting and juicing I`ve been doing. 1 month? A year? A couple of ye....ooh look cake.
I used to date a magazine editor. But, I broke up with her because she just had too many issues. No YOU shut up!
Of course you have a right to your own opinion. Just like I have a right to tell you to shove it up your a$$.
Now working on my 2nd million. I gave up on the first.
Women say they want a guy who can make them laugh. I`d probably have done better if they`d specified that they didn`t mean by tickling.
Parenting gets a lot harder when you can no longer say "I`m calling Santa!"
Drinking doesn’t make me post better Facebook status updates; it just makes me not care what you think of them…
No, PornHub, I would NOT like to share this video with my friends and family on facebook.