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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

Oh, I have an idea!!..oh wait, no I don`t
It`s really quite simple ... I do what I want! ... The End.
Where did Noah keep his bees? ... In the ark hives ... Yes, I`m showing myself out, thanks
I finally stopped caring what other people think. I hope everyone`s ok with that.
A funny thing to do would be to text random numbers with "I got the live bees you sent, they`ll do nicely"
I`m not a father, but I have been called "daddy" a few times.
Time to get out of bed and worry from another location.
I burn bridges to keep those crazy bastards from following me.
Whatever Mom, IF THAT`S EVEN YOUR REAL NAME!!!
I know right from wrong. Wrong is the fun one.
It`s been an exhausting day of pretending I`m a pleasant person.
My sleep number is 24. That`s a case of beer and I sleep like a baby.
You never outgrow sleepovers, they just become coed.
My ex-girlfriend broke up with me because she says I was obsessed with football. I was shocked. I mean we were together for 3 1/2 seasons.
It’s not my fault God gave you boobs to stare at.