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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

Ok advertisers, for the last time. I’m playing a game I downloaded for free. So, the fact that you chose to advertise here means your product is grossly overpriced…
I love therapy sessions because I get to cry for an hour. It usually freaks out my patient, though.
In lieu of a gift I liked a couple of charities on FB in your honour
Right now I`m having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I`ve forgotten this before.
Nuclear physicists can be lots of fun. They`re often referred to as the half life of any party.
I`m an accident looking for a place to happen!
The only F word out a woman`s mouth that scares me is "fine."
My first instinct when I see an animal is to say β€œhello”. My first instinct when I see a person is to avoid eye contact & hope it goes away.
My family is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you`re gonna get but you can be sure there are gonna be some nuts in there somewhere.
After joining Facebook, my TV became radio.
It`s normally a combination of things that cause bad decisions. The tequila, lime, salt combination is the most common.
No, I do not want to talk about how I got all these scratches. On a completely unrelated note; If you`ve ever wondered how many squirrels fit in a pillowcase,,,.. it’s 9.
Don`t have sex man, it leads to kissing and pretty soon you will have to start talking to her..
I think 90% of the software on my computer doesn`t do anything except send me notices that there`s a new version of it!
Dear whoever ate my fries while I was in the ball pit at McDonalds... Not funny, grow up.