Daily Silly Status

Tattoos are like potato chips. You can`t have just one.

Change is always hard.... Especially when a jar of it falls on your head.

What a snow day inside with the kids! My one son thought it would be a good idea to fill up the garage freezer with snow to save for later and my other son had an "accident" and peed all over the floor in the bathroom. Youd think they know better at 13 and 15 years old! I probably should stop letting them drink beer in the house.

Revenge is not in my plans. You`ll f*ck yourself on your own.

I hope I never go to jail because I haven`t memorized a phone number since 2001

All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive or married.

I don`t normally poop with the door open, but I don`t want to miss the in flight movie

I used to be in a band called "missing cat". You`ve probably seen our poster.

There needs to be more “damn it I missed my exit” exits.

I go from "Hard to get" to "Hard to get rid of" in 6 beers flat.

Don’t break anyone’s heart; they only have one. Break they’re bones. They have over 200 of them.

what I hate about technology is that even my book ran out of batteries

Idea: maybe the police force for a town of 20,000 shouldn`t have access to weapons you ordinarily need cheat codes to get

You`re only young once but you can be immature forever!

I`m more indecisive than a John in a brothel with gold credit card.