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"My phone`s about to die." -Me, 30 seconds into every phone call
I love you with all my thighs. I would say my heart, but my thighs are much bigger.
I think I`m a grown up the same way Dr. Phil is a doctor.
To-Do List: Nothing [?]
Here walk a mile in my shoes. They`re giving me huge blisters.
A man typed in search box on Google : “What do women want?”. Google Replied : “We are also searching…”
I dig, we dig, he dig, she dig, they dig. It`s not a beautiful poem, but it`s very deep.
A woman that doesn`t ask for nothing deserves everything
If Wyle E Coyote had enough cash to buy all that ACME stuff why didn’t he just buy dinner?
75% of women in open relationships don`t actually know it yet.
Never underestimate a woman’s ability to make anything your fault.
Wait,,,, What does it mean when my bride uses air quotes during the vows???
Vodka isn`t the answer... but it makes you forget the question :P
I`d like to help you out ... Which way did you come in?
Conserve energy: How would you feel if someone turned you on and then left?