Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Why do people with bad breath always have to tell me secrets?
“Until death do us part” means we’re all single in heaven, right?
Its that time of year to find out what your friends with pools have been up to since last year.
Don`t be scared of the government shutdown, liquor stores are run by the states.
Being cremated is my last hope for a smoking hot body!
Just found out What the Braille on the drive-thru ATM actually says, "Move to the passenger seat"
I prefer not to think before I speak. I like being just as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth.
Roses are red. Violets are blue. Faces like yours belong in the zoo. Don’t be mad, I’ll be there too. Not in the cage but laughing at you.
I fake my LOLs
Cool thing about winter is after grocery shopping your car can double as your refrigerator.
Today my role will be played by an overworked, under caffeinated, sarcastic, unstable, asshole. Consider this my disclaimer for the day.
I`m like the toughest guy in this comic book store.
All fortune cookies should just read, "You will have diarrhea for the next 24 hours.
I can eat a piece of pie without a plate or a fork what else should I write on this dating site profile?
The real trouble with reality is that there`s no background music.