😄 Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 25,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

Dear automatic flushing toilet. I appreciate the enthusiasm, but I wasn`t quite finished...
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Getting out of bed was my worst mistake today.
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A kleptomaniac in a bakery really takes the cake
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Forrest Gump forever changed the way I pronounce buttocks.
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I want the job where you push scared skydivers out of the plane...
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When someone asks if you lost weight, the correct response is always, "no, it just seems like it to you because you got fatter."
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I would watch NASCAR if it was more like Mario Kart.
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I get you, anti-evolution people. I`m too lazy to learn science too.
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I accidentally shoveled the sidewalk all the way to the bar again.
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Sorry, everyone, it looks like my Facebook account was hacked by tequila last night...
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Bike helmets only protect you from looking cool.
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Someone offered me grapes, but I declined. I`m not used to consuming wine in pill form.
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Hey, how long are you supposed to chase someone after they steal your wallet? Cause I`m getting tired of running and he`s catching up to me.
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I`m broker than the Tooth Fairy in a house full of Meth addicts.
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Facebook is the reason why my work is not done.
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