Daily Silly Status

I`ll drink enough for both of us, because I`m just a caring person.

I got called pretty today! Well actually the full statement was "you`re pretty annoying!" But I only focus on positive things

Just watched a woman in front of me walk face first into a telephone pole because she was too busy looking at her phone. I could’ve given her a heads up, but then I wouldn’t have been able to watch her walk face first into the telephone pole.

If we can have HD video from Mars,,, then I should have 4 bars on my phone everywhere I go.

Thanks to everyone for the Birthday wishes! To anyone who missed it.”No cake for you!!"

Little to no thought was put into this status.

I can’t wait to be ashamed of what I do this weekend.

There is no better sunscreen than sitting inside a bar.

That moment when you put your pants on, take a few steps, and feel something crawling down your leg! You grab it on the outside so it doesn`t crawl any further....and then you sigh in relief and thank God the dryer sheet doesn`t bite!

I don`t always say `oops`, but when I do, it`s usually ten minutes after I have a brilliant idea.

Definitely never want to own a small fruit stand in an action movie.

I would be okay with a ghost in the house if it at least moved a vacuum around the floors once a week.

I`m not necessarily saying that I am or am not a super hero, but I do occasionally stand with my hands on my hips.

Is food porn star a thing yet??

Hysterical Shrieking should be reserved for truly serious situations such as Centipedes, Spiders, and that Creepy Uncle that likes to give everyone back rubs.....