😄 Daily Silly Status
Your home to over 25,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I bet aliens would visit us more if Will Smith didn`t punch them in the head as soon as they got here.
The proper way to use a stress ball is to throw it at the last person to piss you off.
There`s no panic like trying to press "End" when you make an accidental call.
I hate it when I think I`m buying organic vegetables and I get home to discover they`re just regular doughnuts.
The most powerful I ever feel is waving pedestrians to walk in front of my car. “Go forth, and trust that I will not kill you.”
If there’s one thing that I’ve learned it’s, that I should have learned way more than one thing.
Firemen, Astronauts, and Doctors are the only people who actually followed through on what they wanted to be when they grew up.
Dear Carly Simon, Yes I am so vain that I do think that song is about me.
I wish I could afford to have a drinking problem.
Would you like to save money on your car insurance? Walk ... Just sayin
Don’t get me started. I don’t come with brakes.
Those beards make the Red Sox look like they`re going to a Civil War reenactment as Confederates.
When you’re a kid, you hate those moments when there is absolutely nothing to do. As an adult, you live for them.
My scars tell a story. A story about a guy who`s really f*cking clumsy.
One problem with auto-correct is that you always end up posting some thong you didn`t Nintendo.