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You look happy. Let me see what I can do about that. - Life.
Today: I`m going to be understanding, productive, and nice. WHAT? Stop laughing! I`m serious!
Is it hibernation time yet? Because I am 100% into that.
I am so thankful for all the people that aren`t in my life.
A lot of talk from the peasants lately about my arrogance.
My son asked what it is like to be married, so I deleted all the music on his ipod except 1 song.
Good judgement comes from bad experience and a lot of that comes from bad judgement
My car broke down outside a massage parlor on today ... And again tomorrow.
Think about what last call would look like if Walmart had a bar
Video Game Logic: Everyone worse than me is my bitch and everyone better than me has no life.
Passed a vampire, a zombie, and a prostitute on the way to work tonight. Not sure which ones were in costumeβ¦
You don`t truly know someone until you see how they react to their bag of chips getting stuck in a vending machine.
Sometimes people come into your life and they need to stop doing that
If I ever get off this couch, Iβll be unstoppable.
FANNNN...DANNNNN....GOOOOO. Breathe The A`s.