Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I love the people in parking lots with "free kittens" signs because I too feel that kittens shouldn`t be oppressed.
If you ask me, every Friday is a Good Friday.
I’m not a picky eater or anything but I will look at both sides of a Dorito before I eat it to decide if its got a good cheesy dust ratio.
The package says "Do not eat raw cookie dough" but all I really see is "Pillsbury hates you and doesn`t want you to be happy."
Why is there Head & Shoulders shampoo? Who has hair on their shoulders? Who`s shampooing their shoulder hair? ... please come forward.
Finding friends with the same disorder as you... priceless!
Any fool can use a computer ... Many do
The most amazing thing about the internet is how it allows you, with the click of a few buttons, to do absolutely nothing with your life
The world would be a better place if we all got along like the "Price is Right" audience.
I’m not a schizophrenic… At least, that’s what all the voices tell me.
More people would call the Gambling Addicts Helpline if they made every 5th caller a winner.
A lot of guys get married just because they`re hungry.
I have always been suspicious of Wendy`s hamburgers because they are square; much unlike the round hamburgers one finds in nature.
If other employees are taking four fifteen minutes smoke break a day, I should most certainly be allowed a one hour nap time.
Cops don’t like it when you ask them β€œNeed some help?” especially when you’re wearing a Batman costume.