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I just found out cock fighting is done with roosters and now it feels like this 6 months of training has been wasted.
Whenever I screw up at work, I`m so glad I`m not a doctor.
I love my work, but I would also love to never have to do it again.
Million Dollar Idea: Hire a bunch of people with OCD and start a cleaning company.
honestly I`ve never seen a tombstone that read "died from not forwarding a text to 10 people"
Tomorrow, history will be made. Months and months of advertisements and anticipation has led up to this historic day. America will see firsthand what is surely to be a historic event, and I am proud to say I will do my part and pick up my copy of Halo 4.
Thou shall not promote Christmas until after Thanksgiving.
There`s a sense of great satisfaction when I`m the tie breaker between `Funny` and `Not Funny` status updates.
These peopele at the gym are looking at me like they expect me to share my donuts ... SMH
Playing dead in the supermarket to avoid having a conversation with someone you know attracts more attention than I anticipated...go figure.
They called themselves geologists because stoners was already taken.
I assume when I get put on hold after I call customer service, it`s because 2 guys are flipping a coin to see who pretends to be the manager.
If you tell people you used to weigh 500 pounds they`ll tell you how great you look at 250.
Have you noticed that the "lol" symbol looks like a drowning guy? i bet hes not laughing out loud
B!tch, please! You`re so fake, even barbie is jealous of you