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So many rules; so little time to break them.
I watch so many crime shows on Tv, that when I turn off the Tv set, I wipe my fingerprints 0ff the remote.
I think once we get past the restraining orders, court dates, and the stalking charges we can really make this relationship work.
My arm fell asleep, which is understandable, considering how boring the rest of my body has been.
Please don’t take anything I say personal or too seriously. I’m just an idiot with internet access.
According to a recent survey, 98% of people responded with "Go away."
I am starting to think I will never be old enough to know better.
Not all country music is terrible. If you can get past the lyrics about trucks, mud, farms and cows... It`s actually not too bad.
Press 1 for someone who probably learned English last month, but is going to try and communicate effectively with you anyway.
Agreeing to disagree is lame. Let’s agree to take turns slapping each other until one of us admits we were wrong.
It doesn’t matter how many signs I put up around the office, HR said high five a co-worker in the face with a shovel day isn’t a thing.
A guy knocked on my door asking for a small donation for the local pool, so I gave him a glass of water.
My name is Fred and I`m a survivor. If you are out there..if anyone is out there. I can provide food/shelter..Anybody please....U are not alone....
In the morning there`s a huge difference between 6:00 and 6:05.
Is it ok to ask a very pregnant librarian if she`s overdue?