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I`m sure the fellow below don`t have big feet :(
if there wasn´t a last minute I´d never get anything done.
I like surprises. Not the `finger in my a$$ without permission` kind, but flowers are always nice.
The easiest way to get over someone is with a steamroller.
My theory on housework is, if the item doesn´t multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be.
The best occupation to work from home as: Bartender.
I’m on that new diet where you eat everything and hope for a miracle!
Sometimes I get in this weird mood where I find everyone annoying. But it only happens when I’m awake.
I’m not sure why, but to me Cheerios sound like the happiest of all circular shaped cereals.
Everything I like is expensive, illegal, or won’t text me back.
One day I shall rule the World! Until then, I am going to bed. Good Night :D
When I`m CEO of Subway, employees will no longer be called "sandwich artists." They will be "sub humans."
If our phones were really smart, they would tell us to get off of Facebook and do something meaningful or constructive with our lives.
If you have time to update your status as "very busy", then you obviously exaggerated.
The only good thing about being an alcoholic is that no one ever asks me to drive them anywhere.