š Daily Silly Status
Your home to over 25,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
"I like tube tops too, but even tires have pressure limits!
My wife is pissed at me again. Apparently I`m breathing wrong.
If you take Viagra with iron supplements it will cause you spin around and point North.
Note To Self: Even if someone really needs it, strangling them is still illegal.
I fold my laundry just like everyone else. About 3 weeks after the dryer buzzes.
My friend wants to know if you think Iām hot.
I like to pee on car windows in subzero weather, happy scraping
Can I have a free unlimited day trial of being attractive?
when i was little my dad told me that the icecream man only played music when he ran out of icecream well played dad well played
My superpower is getting behind the person who is obviously refinancing their mortgage at the ATM.
I`m a lover, not a fighter. So if anyone is giving you trouble and you need me to have sex with them, I`m your man.
Keep reaching for the stars but get a better deodorant.
Please don`t make me choose between you and porn.
The girl next door looks over at me, then her phone, then makes a disgusted look on her face. I think she`s just found my Facebook account
So does screaming at my son in Chuck E. Cheese because he won`t share his game tokens with me make me an evil person? Just kidding! I have no clue whose kid this is.