😄 Daily Silly Status
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My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely.
The first order of business for the 115th Congress: blaming everything on the 114th Congress.
Boobs: because you can`t suck on a girls personality
That`s like asking the fat guy to watch the pie.
I am going to write a book about A.D.D., because .. I love fishing. -LOL
Remember ladies, if on your 10th selfie you don’t have the perfect one to post you’re really just ugly.
Saw a flying saucer today. It appeared right after the flying cup that my wife threw at me.
List of things I’ve accomplished today: 1. Accomplishments List
I wish you could Google anything. Like, "Where the f*ck is my remote?" and it would be like, "It`s under the couch dumbass."
My favorite beer is an open one.
I try to avoid trouble but I think it likes me.
You know its going to be a b!tch of a day when you put your bra on backwards and it fits better.
Current relationship status: Leaving pizza and beer in the bushes, to lure in stalkers.
This status update is a test. It is only a test. Had this been an actual emergency, we would have fled in terror and you would not have been notified.
I did a terrible job preparing for my Blue Man Group audition and boy is my face red