😄 Daily Silly Status
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Somehow I thought growing up would involve more than staring at my phone
I`m super lazy today! Which is like normal lazy, but I`m also wearing a cape.
So, I guess we’re just supposed to assume the number is 1-800-Ghostbusters?
Sometimes, late at night in the market..i switch up all the color tubes in the hair dye kits.
I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.
I try to live every day as though it were my last, and who wants to do laundry on the last day they’re alive?
If no one comes from the future to stop you, than how bad of a decision can it really be.
I`ve just invented an invisibility cloak; anything under it is rendered completely invisible. I`m still working out the kinks; you can still see the cloak itself
When I`m in an elevator with a stranger I generally hold their hand to let them know that they`re safe
You are living proof that the Lord is testing me.
Never piss off the person that cooks your dinner ... EVER!
I will probably die as a result of being sarcastic to the wrong person at the wrong time.
I gave my wife my email address but she keeps on speaking directly to me.
Ever wondered why there’s no window in the airplane’s toilet? Because, really, who’s going to see in?
To my neighbor using a chainsaw at 7:30 on a Sunday morning: Try holding the other end.