Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Worry: a waste of imagination.
It`s all about perspective. The sinking of the Titanic was a miracle to the lobsters in the ship`s kitchen.
When choosing a ring tone, always ask yourself, "How embarrassed will I be when this rings in public?"
How old were you when you found out your parents were using Santa Claus as a behavior-modification tool?
The IRS suggests filing early to reduce the chance that someone will steal your identity and file before you. Honestly, if somebody wants my identity so badly they`ll file my tax return for me, go crazy. You can mow my lawn while you`re at it, too.
Your day sucked, huh? I`m sure Facebook would love to hear about it.
My wife is complaining that I never buy her jewelry. In my defense, I didn`t even know she sold jewelry.
Nascar would be so more entertaining if they threw banana peels and turtle shells.
Today is that day where anything you read online could be totally made up. Oh, wait, that`s every day.
I live for those really small but special moments in life, like when I see the waiter bringing my food to the table.
Before you have any hope for the future of humanity, come and look at how this guy parked.
Water is so good when it`s mixed with grains and yeast, fermented and then distilled and aged.
I took a 5hr energy today. they`re right about being able to multitask because it made me puke and poop at the sametime..
If you have a Selfie Stick Pro, go back two spaces.
I think Facebook now comes under the housework category.