šŸ˜„ Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 25,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

**TORNADO WARNING** Everyone head to Giants Stadium. Safest place to avoid a touch down.
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Never take advice from someone more miserable than you are.
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Don`t run with scissors -- unless you`re stealing scissors, of course. If so, run. Run like the wind scissor thief!
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I’m not fat... my stomach is 3D.
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Not to brag, but they know me by name at the liquor store and the police station.
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It`s amazing how many people are diagnosed with a disease as soon as there`s a pill available for it.
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I was told there would be kool-aid.
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I always try to behave but there are usually too many other options.
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I`m going to start carrying fireworks in my car because sometimes my horn just isn`t enough
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Reason number 347 why I hate Facebook: A guy from high school posted 11 new photos all with the caption "me"
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Why are police men so strong? Because they hold up traffic.
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Stop picking on Justin Bieber. That`s somebody`s daughter.
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Its so hot I used my blow dryer as a cooling fan!
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Pay phones should be replaced with chargers for cell phones.
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I went for a run tonight. Sure, it was a beer run but, I was still sweating by the end.
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