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*wants to travel the world but has like 3 dollars*
All sex is safe sex if you keep your bright orange reflective vest on.
Some of the nicest women you`ll meet on Facebook are men.
Having sex in an elevator is wrong on so many levels. LOL. But on the up side, it is fun!! ;)
I think stupid people were put on this planet to test my anger management skills.
What do sleeping and sex have in common? I`m not getting nearly enough of either.
I’ve made some pretty bad choices in life but I have to admit, having orange juice with Oreos was the worst.
Is running in front of cars some sort of gang initiation for squirrels?
Was that lightning? ... No, they`re taking pictures for Google Earth.
What does it mean when you sit next to an elderly woman on the bus and she shakes her head and makes the sign of the cross?
She heard me call her a bitch so now I have 100 problems.
What am I doing with the rest of my life? I don`t even know what I`m doing with the rest of this post...
Just witnessed kids playing tag. What is this world coming to? Do their parents know they are outside, interacting, and getting exercise?
I`m honest, so when I say I took a "cat nap" that means that I slept for 18 hours and then pissed on your favorite shirt after I woke up.
I`m ABSOLUTELY positive I`d accidentally kill myself within 3 minutes of owning a light saber.