Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Sent my ex a card that said, "Get better soon." He`s not ill, just really crappy in bed.
They told me to come here and write something funny, so I`m gonna post my bank account balance: -$4.09
You can tell how a persons life is going by how they press the crosswalk button.
I`ve disappointed a lot of people in my life, you`re not special.
My life is a movie. One of those movies where most of the people start leaving right in the middle of it.
When I got divorced, we split the house. I got the outside....
Sometimes people try to expose what`s wrong with you, because they can`t handle what`s right about you.
Always believe a woman when she says: “You don`t want to know!”
I know the voices aren`t real, but man do they come up with some great ideas.
Now that I think about it... Facebook became popular ever since I made an account.
I just got an email telling me how I can have fuller, firmer breasts. I can`t wait to show them to my wife!!
That weirdo that comes into bars and tries to sell roses would make a lot more money if he sold tacos.
I`m starting to think I overuse exclamation points. It ends today. Right now. I`ll never ever use one again. I`m so excited about it. Yes.
Tequila is Spanish for I’m open to waking up anywhere.
Thought I saw a kangaroo today but turned out to be a greyhound having a dump !