😄 Daily Silly Status
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Based on the sounds coming from my neighbors house, they`re either having amazing sex or putting together a dresser from Ikea.
They say in the near future computers will become more intelligent than people, really, the near future? I walk down the street and see girls who struggle with the difference between orange and tanned, guys who have no idea how a belt works, and all of them with less language skills then the average trained chimp. Computers? Hell I’ve got an alarm clock that’s smarter than most of them right now.
I don`t try to annoy people; its just a gift.
Just changed my dating profile headline to: “Seeking rich old men with bad hearts and no relatives” …crossing my fingers.
Just took an inventory of my body and it appears to be overstocked in all the wrong places.
All I heard was, " I swear it`ll be funny" and then we were in jail.
On a scale of one to crazy, how many cats do you have?
Dear Diary, men think about sex every 7 seconds. I do that with pizza.
I`m kinda like an onion, not in some deep I have layers way, but if you see me naked, you`ll cry.
I have never faked a sarcasm in my entire life!
Things that keep me awake # 408...How do Amish girls know if it’s a romantic candlelit dinner or just regular dinner?
Hope you get down and funky on this the day of your birth!!
I`m running out of reasons to call into work. Do you think "emergency circumcision" is a good excuse?
If I make you breakfast in bed. A simple `Thank you.` is all I need! Not all this `How did you get in my house?` business!
I’m bored. Anyone need anything avenged?