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Five years ago my boss asked me where I wanted to be in five years. I finally know the answer: Not Here
He is proud of himself. He finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said 2-4 years.
Hold boobs not grudges.
You never see a church with free wifi. I guess because no church wants to compete with an invisible power that actually works.
havung sex in a elevator is wrong on so many levels....no mattet what floor your on
Iām starting to think we as a society may be trying to do too much with the Dorito.
I hate it when people pour my cereal. They don`t know how much I want. They don`t know my life. They don`t know what I`ve been through.
I guess today has been pretty good. I haven`t had to slap one single person yet....
I`m going to stand outside, so if anyone asks I am outstanding.
The only thing I`ve learned from scary movies is to avoid pale children
I want to know what horrific ideas were rejected before they decided "Vagisil" was the best possible brand name?
The push-up bra: the strangely acceptable female equivalent of a rolled up sock stuffed in men`s underwear.
You ever notice that the number of extra steps a drunk takes getting home? ...its staggering!
Growing up teachers always told me there was no such thing as a stupid question. Eight years in retail has determined that was a lie.
I wonder what my future wife is doing right now ... Hopefully modeling.