😄 Daily Silly Status
Your home to over 25,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`m having fruit salad for dinner, well, it`s mostly grapes...crushed grapes ...ok, it`s wine, I`m having wine!
My teen thought it`d be funny to post as me on Facebook. I laughed and laughed and changed the wi-fi password. Good times!
"Trust me, you can dance." -Vodka
Remember when there was more important crap to do besides Facebook all day? Me neither.
Unless its inappropriately, don`t f*cking touch me.
I put a pair of boots in the bathroom stall at work so nobody else will use the stall that I like to use.
The lyrics for "hush little baby" are basically saying "I will buy you anything if you just shut the hell up"
The doctors say im going to be ok. I must warn you the dyson ball cleaner has a very misleading name.
Women come in two types: batsiht crazy and hot enough to ignore the batsiht crazy…
I had the greatest bowel movement at 2am......unfortunately I woke up at 8am (<>..<>)
I`d steal a doughnut truck and attempt to outrun the cops, just to let people see a bunch of cops chasing a doughnut truck!
Relationship status: Private. The only way for it to be.
I just watched my dog chase his tail for 10 minutes and thought, "Wow, dogs are easily entertained." Then I realized I just watched my dog chase his tail for 10 minutes.
Efficiency: skip your morning, wake up in the afternoon.
I`d like to have a child one day ... Two days, tops.