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I just love having sex with you...Next time I hope you are there with me.
I don`t know how the law of averages works, but you`d think after 25yrs of marriage I`d be right at least once
Letβs get naughty and save Santa the trip.
I have many thoughts. I just canΒ΄t remember any of them.
I don`t know what I would do without you, but I bet it`s awesome.
I avoid online dating sites because they match you up with people who share your interests. I don`t want to go out with a weirdo.
Being normal? Ugh. I can`t imagine how awful that must be.
I`m happy, but not "Oprah just told me to look under my chair" happy.
Been there, done that. Then, been there several more times, because apparently I never learn.
It`s just adorable how the Liquor Store cashier always wishes me a good week as if I won`t be back tomorrow.
The Mrs said she we need a "conversation piece" in the living room. I`m thinking taco cart...
Ever notice that the first 10 seconds of a medical drug commercial is spent telling you what the drug is for and the rest basically daring you to take it?
I`d hit that. - women drivers
The greatest fear is NOT fear itself. Itβs dropping your phone in a port-a-potty!
You`re always ahead of schedule when it comes to disappointing me.