Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
They should turn off Netflix at 1:00am for people with jobs and no willpower....bastards
Anyone who believes that children are our future has not been to a mall recently.
A wise man, will often say nothing
Things that schools worry about Drugs 1% Graduating 1% drop outs 1% the inportance of using a number 2 pencil on standardized tests 97%
Oh, he uses you for sex? Stop bitching…Sex is awesome. Complain when he’s using you for laundry….. or a human shield.
Who cares about throwing stones? How do people in glass houses hide when somebody knocks on the door?
I always tell my kids that it`s ok to make mistakes as long as you learn how to blame them on other people.
Very few things upset my wife. So, it makes me feel rather special to be one of them.
Why can`t the ice cream man just get a freakin liquor license already
Can I have a free unlimited day trial of being attractive?
A magic eraser, but for my bar tab.
I got up this morning and think I saw my shadow. I´m going back to bed for six weeks.
Just got a Cheerio stuck between my toes walking through the kitchen. Clearly my dog isn’t doing his part of the chores around here.
I just did some calculations and I`ve been able to determine that you`re full of sh!t.
People who over-exaggerate make me so mad that I just want to light everyone on fire.