😄 Daily Silly Status
Your home to over 25,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Not sure what`s longer. A microwave minute or a treadmill minute.
When I try to fold fitted sheets it looks like I’m in an infomercial that’s exaggerating how difficult it is to fold fitted sheets.
Guy on plane : So, where are you going to? Me : I`m guessing it`s the same place you`re going.
"It`s not a pyramid scheme" is a phrase almost exclusively used by people involved in pyramid schemes
Hurricane preparedness tip: 1. Buy several kegs of beer 2. Drink beer 3. Wait for flooding 4. Drop kegs in water 5. Float to safety....
People assume I’m smart when they see my glasses case. Then they see that I use it to store a Snickers bar and they recognize my true genius.
I have a life outside of internet, it involves charging my phone.
I hate those new parents who do the `baby talking`, yes I do, yes I do...
I`m not homophobic, I love my house!
I know I`m an adult now, but I still hold out hope that money will fall out of every card I get.
Sometimes a special someone walks right into your life and helps you realize how much better your life was before they walked into it.
I`m only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand
Living out of your car isn`t so bad if you keep telling yourself you`re "on tour"
My wife looks super hot without glasses. That’s why I stopped wearing them.
I`ve finally stopped drinking for good ... And I`ve started drinking for evil.