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I would like to remind everyone it`s not the size of the boat... Or the motion of the ocean, but the whether the boat is able to stay in port until all passangers have gotten off.
There is a special place in hell for people who are not ready to order when it`s their turn.
People assume when I yawn that I’ve lost interest in what they have to say but truth be told, I was never interested.
What if animals all speak a universal language, and we’re the odd ones out???
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, you’re probably really hot.
Boys will be boys... unless they get a sex change.
"Of course you`re the prettiest girl here, you just need to talk louder" - alcohol
At the end of the day, life should ask us, Do you want to save the changes?
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. -Me with beer, me without beer
Pretending to be a functioning adult is exhausting.
If you still can read this, please inform me ASAP because I have probably blocked the wrong person!
I`ll never understand women. They hate when you ask their age, but get mad if you forget their birthday.
Insanity does not run in my family. It strolls through, taking it`s time and getting to know each one of us personally.
Rump roast is called rump roast because nobody would eat it if it was called cow`s ass
Of all the people who "claim" not to give a sh!t, I`m pretty sure the guy standing barefoot in front of the urinal at the gym is the winner.