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Relationships are mostly you apologizing for saying something hilarious!
I can`t tell them apart, was that Milli or Vanilli doing the sign language at Madela`s funeral?
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall (he also had a pretty good summer too).
Sometimes the best helping hand you can give is a good, firm push
I did responsible things all day so tonight will consist of nothing that even resembles responsibility.
I don`t want to be bothered with stupid $h!t today. What is stupid $h!t? Anything I don`t want to be bothered with.
Yes, I know how to shut up. I just don´t know when.
I’ve never considered myself much of a conspiracy theorist. Then I discovered the letters in Frito Lay could be rearranged to spell Oily Fart- Coincidence?… I think not!!!
One would have to assume that Amish chicks carve their own sex toys.
Why do hospitals need to advertise? It`s not like I`m going to go to Home Depot instead.
Question: : What do you get if you add human DNA to a goat? ... Answer: Kicked out of the petting zoo
Funny word combinations :Clearly misunderstood, Exact estimate, Small crowd, Act naturally, Found missing, Fully empty and above all ... Happily Married
I`ve been told I`m doing exceedingly well in my exaggeration therapy class, I think it`s because I`ve been giving it 180 percent.
If only my goals were to be poor, lazy and out of shape.
Every so often you come across a person that supplies you with endless motivation, even if it is just to jump into traffic.