Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My coworkers should be less concerned about my job performance and just be happy I remember to wear pants each day.
Singing passionately in the shower: Pretty good idea. Dancing passionately in the shower: Not so much.
Drinking coffee in the afternoon is like eating the mushroom that makes you big in Super Mario.
The first guy who bought pants had to go to the store without pants on, that`s just science
CNN needs to reevaluate the use of Breaking News. Perhaps "Latest Speculative News" or "We Really Don`t Know Shit" would work. CNN call me.
I dont know whats more awkward, answering Dora, or sitting in silence while she stares at you.
Why do people ask "What the hell were you thinking?" Obviously I was thinking I was going to get away with it and not get caught.
I saw something that reminded me of you.. so I flushed the toilet and washed my hands(:
Have you ever said something and immediately thought “I didn’t know I knew that."
My kids constantly yell at me whenever I try take their pictures, and I tell `em: "You`re gonna need them in 20 years for your Throw Back Thursdays updates"..... whatever!!
What`s cardio, and can I eat it?
My blood test came back as B+ Any tips how I can get an A+ next time?
I`m fresh out of hopes and dreams. Can I interest any of you in despair and disappointment?
Friday. The golden child of the weekdays. The superhero of the workweek. The welcome wagon to the weekend. The famous F word we thank God for every week.
Just discovered an app that tells you which one of your friends is stupid. It`s called Facebook.