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I like to sit outside on campus at night in my 1940s clothes and when people say things to me, I say "You can see me?"
To be truthful from deep down ... I don`t believe that paper beats rock.
life is unfair theres 6 days between monday and sunday but only 1 between sunday and monday
I`ve reached that time of day between "coffee wearing off" and "murdering my co-worker."
When people with multiple personality disorders are about to die, whose life flashes before their eyes?
"I didn`t get your text" is the new "my dog ate my homework"
Don`t act like your not impressed.
I hate waiting in lines. I wish this woman would hurry up and pick a suspect.
The only problem with sarcasm is, it only works on intelligent people.
To the woman with six screaming kids in Walmart, if you wonder how those condoms got in your cart, you’re welcome.
I just came online to check the weather. That was 12 years ago.
If the people in horror movies would just listen to me, they would still be alive!
A trail of clothes leading to my bedroom means I dropped them on the way from the dryer.
I hate it when TV shows say they contain "adult situations" but then don`t show anyone going to a job they hate, and paying their bills.
My flock of sheep were stolen from my farm last month. I`ve not been able to sleep since.