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My resume is really just a list of all the things I never want to do again.
Scariest thing ever: when a kid sings a nursery rhyme really slow.
He turned to her, ran his hand up her thigh, across her belly and down her legs. When he turned back to watch TV, she asked "Why stop?" "I found the remote!" he replied.
I like them big and fake. ~Me talking about Christmas trees
I hate mixed messages. They`re great.
Warning!! Today I will be coloring OUTSIDE the lines..
I know you seen me continuously push the "close doors" button while you ran to the elevator. Now it`s just awkward
Too bored to do nothing. Too lazy to do anything.
I`ve written my own book called 50 Shades of Gravy. It`s very saucy. :D
Alcohol is never the answer...unless, of course, you ask what I`ll be doing tonight.
if a guy tells you you`re ugly ; he wants you, if a girl tells you your ugly; she`s jealouse, if you a kid tells you your`re ugly..... you`re ugly.
If I had a nickel for every time I`ve misplaced my keys, there`d be a jarful of money I would also have to look for
Sometimes I meet people and feel sorry for their dog.
I would know if I was insane, the voices would tell me.
My Superpower is eating 5 times the "suggested serving" size.