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I shook the vending machine until my chips fell, so yeah, I’m a hunter-gatherer.
I`m going to be very disappointed if I go to England and nobody skips to the loo.
The guy below me obviously doesn`t know that R2-D2 is in movies, not television
Sex with human, ok. Sex with cow, not ok. Grabbing cow titty, ok. Grabbing Karen in accounting`s titty, not ok. Apparently.
It would serve me better if they put shopping carts in the middle of the store where my pride realizes I have too much stuff to carry.
Is it wrong to swallow my multi-vitamin with a beer?
My New Years resolution is always don’t die. So far so good.
Roses are red, violets are blue, If your parents told you you`re beautiful, they`re lyin to you..:D
Be thankful your GPS doesn`t get PMS: “Fine! Turn whichever way you want! You never listen to me anyway!”
Not one back to school special on beer. What kind of world do we live in.
The best person to get thrown in jail with would have to be the Kool-Aid Man.
“Let’s eat, get drunk and watch people exercise” – sports fans
According to the police, public masturbation is not considered a "street performance". Even if you have a hat on the ground on front of you.
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
Facebook really needs a “pee on someone’s wall” option.