😄 Daily Silly Status
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Do not treat a woman like an object. It hates that...
Most of being an adult is marveling at the date and saying how fast the year is going by.
I feel like I could give a great NBA locker room speech. "Guys, we`re all millionaires, none of this matters."
My kids can be difficult sometimes, but my mom always assures me that I deserve it.
Oops is farting in the elevator and thinking it would be silent.
so I got really drunk last night, but I was good and took a bus home. the only problem I have now is I dont remember where I put the keys to the bus.
Everything in earthquake-prone areas should be built on top of a giant Tempurpedic mattress.
If it wasn’t for caffeine I wouldn’t be a functioning member of society.
I have no problem giving credit when credit is due. It’s giving payment when payment is due that I seem to struggle with.
You`re about 8 beers away from being my type.
Do midgets still start their childhood stories off with, "When I was little"
Wishing a happy unbirthday to everybody who`s birthday isn`t today.
Love is like a rubber band, we keep pulling, someone let’s it go, and it hurts the one who held on.
If I dont clean my house soon. They are gonna bring in blindfolded people to do a Febreze commercial
I am not lazy, I`m on power saving mode