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Is it hibernation time yet? Because I am 100% into that.
Actually, The quickest way to fix that annoying noise in your car is ... Just open the door and push her out.
I wish the "Do not ask me again" option existed in real life.
I`m as nutty as a squirell fart
I do not like being told what to do unless I`m naked.
My life is a movie. One of those movies where most of the people start leaving right in the middle of it.
Whenever I read: "Do not exceed recommended dose" I always think, "Challenge accepted!"
The only 2 things that I love and enjoy about being an adult is having sex and drinking alcohol.
I like to walk around my house naked⦠Until my neighbors scream at me to go back inside
If Kutcher went to Sheen and said It`s still your show, this was all a joke and yelled "You got Punked" it would be the greatest prank ever.
Shout-out to nature for not giving wings to snakes
If I was stuck on a desert island with only one record, I would want it to be the record for being able to swim the farthest.
You`ll all be sorry when I figure out how to breathe fire.
I used to question how much information was too much information. Joined Facebook, It`s much clearer now
I am NOT high maintenance, I simply have more preferences than most.