😄 Daily Silly Status
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scream outloud and really fast "I won a math debate"
It`s so cold Miley Cyrus got her toungue stuck on her wrecking ball
All the guys in working out photos look like they`re straining or in pain, but there`s lots of pictures of me with cake and I look happy. Just saying.
Pizza will never tell you to apologize to your mother in law
We spend 33% of our life sleeping, 33% wanting to be asleep and the rest apologizing to women.
Maybelline claims to make eyelashes appear three times longer…..I think they should start making condoms.
I’m beginning to think that I buy bananas just to watch them die a slow death in my kitchen.
My wife told me that her favorite position is when I lay very very still wearing a toe tag and she starts dating again
I can`t remember if I have any repressed memories.
You don`t need training to be a street cleaner, you just pick it up as you go along.
My girlfriend is now mad at me because I didn’t know why she was mad at me.
If I didn`t drink, then how would everyone know how much I love them at 2am?
I`m going to clean my house today and by clean I mean I`m drinking vodka and spraying Febreze everywhere.
Just heard a lady say "When in doubt, get a pizza"... I don`t know who this woman is but she`s my new life coach.
Technically, every picture is a before picture.