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Age sure does change your perspective. Lots of things I hated when I was a kid I love now... like having nothing to do, going to bed early, watching the news, spankings.... stuff like that.
Beauty comes in all shapes & sizes. Small, large, circle, square, thin crust, thick crust, stuffed crust, extra toppings.
My boss just asked me why I wasn`t working.. ..i told em cuz I didn`t see him coming
I really hate it when someone else creates something that I haven`t had the chance to think of first...
I’m on that new diet where you eat everything and hope for a miracle!
My therapist says I have imposter syndrome. But come on, I`m not good enough to have something fancy like that.
How funny is it when you’re telling somebody a made-up story and someone says “Oh yeah I heard about that”?
Why do we offer "a word to the wise" when it`s the stupid ones that need the advice?
Just saw a car at McDonalds take 4 tries to get lined up in a parking space. I`m not judgmental, so I won`t assume what sex she was.
You`ll all be sorry when I figure out how to breathe fire.
Dyslexics are teople poo.. :|
*Hears a joke about a chocolate bar* *Snickers*
I can see your camouflage pants, so they`re not working.
Obviously the movie "the good wife" is not based on a true story. It`s fiction people.
If you think this week was a drag, wait till you see what happens next week!