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Money is the root of all evil. For more information, send $10 to me.
Facebook is the best place to say whatever you want. If it doesn’t go over well you can just say you were hacked.
Please: No,No.No-More about how you think relationships should be: we`ve got it , Your Single,,- get off facebook and go take your own expert advise...
Let`s party like there`s no tomorrow and call in sick if there is one.
Sometimes I order fajitas at a restaurant just to get more attention.
Next time a guy asks for your number, write it down in Roman numerals. If he manages to call you, he`s a keeper.
Velcro, what a rip-off!
Apparently you can not demand to be strip searched.
It`s never going to work out between Mario and the Princess. Most of the time she`s on a whole other level.
An egg salad is really just a chicken salad that is really underdone.
How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?
When you`re a kid, dick jokes are considered adult content, but when you`re an adult, they`re considered immature.
Hi I’m an evil ghost with the ability to defy time & space, but I think the best example of my powers will be to slightly close this door.
My whole life is based on a true story...
I got kicked out of a fancy dress party on the weekend, because I was wearing nothing but a red shirt. Not my fault nobody has heard of Winnie the Pooh!!