Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
You never realize how boring your life is until someone asks what you like to do for fun.
"Ho, Ho, Ho!" -Santa Claus/Pimp, doing a head count.
I FINALLY "friended" my girlfriend on Facebook.. You know.. So I could get updates on our relationship status.. :|
I`ve been building my own particle accelerator. Plan to create a boson particle. Explore the mysteries.....you know what? This is a lot of work. Think I`m just going to have a beer and play Call of Duty.
People with multiple personalities should donate one of them to people who don’t have one.
"Cannot connect to network. Reset your wireless router." "Umm, okay, but what if my router is in my neighbour`s house? Should I call him?"
I react to "Someone has tagged a photo of you..." in the same way I react to a doctor saying, "Your test results came back..."
Thinking of opening a bar right next to a gym and call it “Decisions, Decisions”.
We are living in a generation where Vampires are sparkly,Werevolves are gay and Witches wear leather pants.
I bet the guy at the urinal next to me is now rethinking his decision to wear flip flops today.
Dear eyelashes, wishbones, dandelions, pennies, shooting stars, 11:11, and birthday candles ... Do your damn job.
9 of 10 voices in my head telI me I `m crazy. One hums ...
No thanks, Inspirational guy, but I am only on Facebook for the jokes and the meltdowns.
Live each day like someone else is paying for drinks
Admit it, we all have that special someone we`d visit if given a tank to drive for a day