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I once found a whip, a mask, a baton and handcuffs in my Mother-in-Law`s draw... who knew she was a superhero. Nice!!!
I keep myself in just good enough shape to outrun most women and small children during emergencies.. :|
My wife said I can definitely have a man cave, if that`s what I want to start calling the hall closet.
Facebook is serious. I put more thought into whether or not to accept a friend request than whether or not to sleep with someone.
It`s 2014, people. Isn`t it about time we put an end to all this `wake up in the morning and go to work` nonsense?
Apparently beer contains female hormones. After you drink enough you can neither drive nor shut the hell up
OMG! I went shopping because I needed a skirt and these earings were on special so I bought four new pairs of shoes!
I hate that feeling when you feel you wrote something good on facebook and then nobody likes your status. Depressing... :(
On average I spend $75 a year to watch bananas turn brown.
If someone tells you "it`s better than sex" they`re not doing the sex right.
Happy Fat Tuesday! Join me again tomorrow on I`m still fat Wednesday
I read in a book somewhere that we only use 12% of our brains....I wonder what the other half is for?
Driving isn`t even in the top 5 things I`m thinking about when I`m driving.
Turns out a At Home DNA Test is not a good baby shower gift.
A day without sunshine is like, you know... night