Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Setting my coffee maker to `stun`
A beautiful woman could post "My dog just died" and she would get replies like "Well, I`m not dead ;)"
One thing I`ve learned about women is they prefer that I don`t speak
There`s a fine line between flirty and creepy. And that line is called being good looking.
If someone hates you for no reason, give that motherf*cker a reason.
I assume people with dark tinted windows pick their nose more aggressively than the rest of us.
Sometimes I like to hold the door for people who are far away so they feel obligated to run just a little. ;)
did you notice when you yell "yo ugly" about 10 people turn around
Australian kiss. It`s kind of like a French kiss, but down under.
So this guy with a premature ejaculation problem comes out of nowhere.
pumpkin for sale, slightly used
If at first you don´t succeed ..... buy her another drink
I hate when its dark and your brain is all "you know what we haven`t thought about in a while ... demons."
Sometimes my sarcasm is so intense that even I’m not sure if I’m kidding or not.
I don`t understand why people pay therapists when I`ll tell them what`s wrong with them for free.