😄 Daily Silly Status
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What`s a burnt pizza, frozen beer & a pregnant girl have in common? There was a DUMBASS who didn`t take it out in time.
At the end of the day, life should ask us, ‘Do you want to save the changes?’
Maybe Voldemort`s face is flat because he ran into the wrong wall at the train station.
Why do blurry people always ask me if I’m drunk?
Its around this time each year that i just enjoy going outside and seeing my christmas lights already set up from the year before.
It’s a little sad that today’s youth don’t get to experience a red rubber dodgeball to the face like we did back in the day.
Why isn’t our beer color coordinated for all holiday occasions, instead of just St. Patricks Day?
Sometimes, I wonder if the weather app on my phone even looks outside.
I said "sad face emoji" instead of actually frowning today if you want to know how out of touch with reality I am.
One way to know if someone is lying to you is if their facial mole is in a different place every time you see them
Your giving me the silent treatment??? FKN FINALLY!!
Girls are a lot like oceans, beautiful and deep, but once a month, it`s shark week.
Best Pregnancy T-Shirt… “9 Months Sober”
have you ever looked at someone and thought, "yeah you definitely have someone locked away in your basement."
People with no money sure do have a lot of pot.